Hachiman the Rapper
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: Hachiman becomes a rapper
1. Chapter 1

Hachiman turned on TeeVee

"Fuck the polis cummin' str8 fum da unterground a yung nigga liek me git it bad cuz i'm brown"

Dre & Eazy-E derz it rapped in the television. The rest of NWA was fukking sum hoes in the backstage.

It was a new channel. He red the channel name: gr8 nolstalgia of tha 90s.

"Kik in da dor wavin' da for for

Al yo hears iz pepper don hit me no mor"

Nice! Hachiman said. It was musik to his ears.

"Datz y i fukked yo warf yo fat mo'fukker."

"It wuz jus an dream."

"Gundam me glad yo set it off."

"Cruisin' down da stret on mi six fo'."

"Nigga wrap iz awesome!" Hachiman exclaimed.

He got addicted to the rap culture.

He went to bed. Next morning he woke up and saw Komacha lying on couch.

He went to put 5 carrotz in da gurlz ear.

"Nobody likez me.

Nobody likez me, but datz okay, cuz i dun liek yo anywayz, i dun liek yo anywayz, fuck all y'all!" He shouted the lyrics at his classmates as he walked along the corridor.

He spotted the transfaggot white hair.

"I rock hoez, y'all rockz fellaz."

Faggot got schooled into his place.

"Today iz an gud day!"

First lesson.

"Y'all faggots best be turning to page fo-fo (44) else i bit yo azz." Sensei Kurumiguru said.

Fo-Fo.

Hachiman got fucking triggered.

He jumped on Sensei kurumiguru and stomped da light outta her.

"Kick in da hoe, wavin' da fo fo,

Al yo heard wuz hachi don hit me no mo!"

"Hachi don hit me no mo!"

Everyone in clas skreamed. Den Yukinoshitnigga cumz in.

"What's going on?"

"Yuki mah side-chick!" Hachiman stopped beating sensei and went to Yukino panting like a snoop dawg.

"Yuki yuki yuki can yo c sumtiemz yo wurdz jus hipnotix mi"

Yukinoshitnigga realised something's wrong with Hachiman. He's speaking ghetto, which waz not an gud sing.

Jus den principer Tsubanihonto cam in.

"Hachiman, u are herebly expelled for grievious bodily assort on a teacher."

"Fuck yo fucking crakkaz i ain't need no educashun nowayz Hachi outta here!"

Hachiman seethed in his hous. He wuz raged by what hapened 2day.

In his rage he started komposin' his own rap.

After kimposing it he uploaded it to sundcloud where his homiez ma boiz can listen.

His rap—

Fuck y'all, fuck y'all, fuck y'all, fuck y'all

Fuck yo life i hope y'all fucking fall

Fuck yo tittiez, fuck yo twatz

Fuck yo titz n fuck yo tatz

Fuck yo mom, fuck yo dad

Fuck al dem side hoez yo ever had

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

Fuck yo childrenz fuck yo boo

Fuck yo house n fuck yo cash

Fuck yo marijuana stash!

Fuck yo bitch ass worthless chick

Fuck yo bitch ass micro dick

Fuck everythangz yo ever stood fo

Fuck everywunz livin' in yo hood bro!

Fuck this fuck dat

Fuck piss fuck scat

Fuck dat bitch comin' down south runnin' her shitnigged mouth fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

He breafed intensely azz he recorded his rap. Shit wuz fire.

He den uploaded it on soundcloud. "Shoutout to da bitch ass principer I be beefin' wif. Hope yo liek it up tha azz no vaseline yo faggot!"

His song immediately blew up.

"Omg roflmao *insert emoji* nigga i can't even *insert emoji again* dude it'z str8 fiyahhhhhh fam *insert burning flame emoji* *insert 100 emoji* nigga take care"

"Hahahahah ya teached dat bitch ass nigga principer an lesson lmao bruh *insert emoji* ya got no chill *insert a series of emojis that makes no sense whatsoever*"

Hachiman was heartened. So much that he resoluted to forward the blakkk lyfe matter cos— by turnin' into a transnigga.

Turnin' into a transnigga will increase his street cred and help wif his rap hobby. But the difficult part wuz the operashun. He nid sum nigga willing to donate a 12 inch horse kok to him.

For many dayz he kept the operation transnigger at da back of his mind. Until one day when he received a mysterious parcel wrapped in the shape off a dildoo…

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Hachimad opened the parcel. A black huge Kok dropped outt. Hachiman yelled in surpris.

"Ayyyyyyyyyyooooo dafaq is this shit niqqa i swear i be seeing thangs…"

However he ain't seen things. The black Kok was real. It seemed to be frum a dead nigga in afrikkka.

He grabbed the dikk and sayz to the skie. Oh kamisawa did thou granteth me wish to be blakk?

It was not kamisaga, cus at dat moment eazy E descendid frum heaven.

"Eazy durz it!"

Hachiman jumped. Eazy wuz in his tru form with his colossal dikk hanging frum hiz croch.

"EAzy E! Me swear ur dead!"

"Da reel mothafukking g n'ever dies!"

"How yo liekz da gift wite boi."

"What this is frum u?" Hahciman asked. He stared at the dick now with newfound awe. A real mothafukking D!

"Yea man."

"Look, wigga, i gave u dis to defeat dat bitchass dre. Man i don fukk wif dat faggot ever since dre day. Ya know dat faggot wuz beefin' wif me together hez fuckslav schmoop dawg? Dat bitch nigga now dissin' me when im gone cuz dey fear me in der fisical form!"

"You, ma boi, is de chosen one to defeat Dre. I still luv him liek an brotha despit havin' smo' dikk, but he's gone too far. He might hav also succmbed to J3ws."

"Nawt der jews i fukking h8 dem!"

"Word homie Jerry Heller shud jus die! Oh w8 he alr dead!"

"Wait y is not you know he had dieded?"

"Nigga ya gotta think if i nawt meet him in heaven den wherefore he end up in?"

Hachiman smiled. It be commonsense. Good niggas liek Malcum X n eazyE n hrarmbe goes to heaven n dirty jewry HELLer goes to his designated place.

"Aw shitz nigga god be disconnecting soon i can only talk so much—"

Eazy E disappear. Hachiman luk at blakk cok.

He immediate went to werk.

Fakkkk! He screamed as the scalper tore thru his testikles.

He wuz following online tutorial on diy operashuns but instruktion wuz nawt clear.

FAkkkkkk! Not again! Dis tiem, his foreskin wuz bruised n parasitez started infesting it, causing it to decompose fast.

despite failings, he managed to semi circumcise himself along the circumference, he;s ready for the most painful prt.

Placing his dikk on the table, he used a guacamole pounder and started viciously pounding on it.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhh!"

He wuz in so much pain. As he pounded more vigorously, bits of his dick began flying errwhere. Finally, the center vein wuz severed by the pounder.

a pool of blud wuz formin'. Hachiman was almost ded but he be happy cus he bout to becum an real hard nigga!

Pikking hiself up, he went to komacci's room where she kept her suwing kitt. He got out a needle and began sewign der blakk cok onto his pelvis.

Excrushiating pain resumed. But the operashun wuz success, and after a few hourz, der dick wus sewed. Surprising, all the veins konnected and even the urethra so hachiman can still piss on beggars on his way to skool.

"Yiisssss yeezy weezy bizzy jizzyslayyyyyyyyyyyy!" He shouted. He went on twitch n livestreamed hesself shaking his dikka around. Many niggas komplimented his place dikk.

"Lmao dis nigga keeping it real."

"Drake dat faggot better watch out fo his boipussi!"

"Wif dat u can impregnate meny white hoes."

Hachiman then started wanking off in front of the camera. hhis audience followed him and soon the livestream descended into an epic wankfest.

The next day, Hachiman woke up to the smell of pussy. he opened his eyes only to see his face pressed against komachi's ass.

"Dafaq!" Komachi flipped over. His dikk wuz erect and dripping wif salivas.

"Gomen brotha yo big blakk beast wuz too tempting!" Komachi laffed.

Hachiman's ego inflated 1000000000 times. he swaggered to school, feeling very confident, so confident that he is bout to whoop the principal's azz.

little did he know that the principal was living a double lyfe and in his other lyfe he wuz el chapo.

At the cafeteria, he confronted the principle with his blakk coc. His principle was not scared, which surprised him. Just then, the principal hollerd some gibberish wif alot of tongue rolling.

"Ay ese mi familia vamos y beat-the-fuck-outtamos dis falso negro gringo compadre!"

suddenly everyone present at the cafeteria turned towards him. Seemed like it was all staged.

Wif nowhere to run, hachiman was beaten the fuck out.

"Go be a nigger elsewhere just not in my school," Principal spat at hachiman after throwing him out onto the street. Just den a gang of beggars walked towards hachiman. They further beat the fuck outta him and den the unzipped their pants and started peeing all over hachiman. "Dis is fo every tiem u piss on us while we wuz sleeping yo bourgeios"

Hachiman was hella pissed. He ran home about to cry like a fucking hipster faggot emo white girl bitch. He even began to crave for starbucks.

No! He had to maintain his strong nigga front! If he collapse now then Easy E wud be disappoint.

So he decided that he still git komacha to fall back on when he's at his lowerst.

He had too much optimistism.

When he reached home he caught komachi being blakked by Tyrone James Newport, the very closest homie to him and probably the only tru nigga in Japan. He wuz about to do a collab with Tyrone next week.

Seeing how his best friend and his sister waif betreyed him, Hachiman saw no more point to live. He oepend his window about to jump down to death.

"Remember that the minute you do that there is no turning back. That bitch ass principal is probably not care. The only people u be hurting are ur closest homies." a voice spoke.

Eazy E wuz hanging frum a cloud n shietz.

His simple words touched hachiman so much dat he cried liek a lil bitch.

Hachiman closed the window.

Not today.

He still git raps to pen.


End file.
